NOrth BY south by

We looked forward to this day all month long we saved to make sure we had enough for the trip parking sunscreen and tickets and food. We arrive my white angel codenamed lancer always delivers when its road trip time he goes all the way. We roll into downtown austin and walk the empty streets littered with trash and drinks un finished food. The air was crisp and smelled of snap dragons. The coolest palce to be that morning. We waited in line and in line we always make the nicest most open minded friends. And even between sets during the concert we make friends. We gather for the love we share for the music. It has to be the most exhilerating thing to be first band up. BUt this band delivered and then some i fell for the melodic tunes hook line and sinker. And sometimes people are there to see a different band but you gotta respect the love they have because on days like today we are all equal. The tent was cramped and the accoustic were amazing considering the setup. THe best part was the free rockstar energy drinks. I loved the smell of many energy being spilled during the sets and the dance of the crowd. The best part was when my little brother turned and pushed the whole crowd back when he didnt want to participate in the "MOsh" pit. So overrated and its on its way out and the new revolution of the concert lies in the hands of the bands im sure they are great but sometimes disturbing and a nusence. The guitars hit and the crowd goes insane and packs itself tighter together to get closer to the band. We all want to be closer to the band. We all want to be rockstars and we all share the experience. Sometimes unity maybe be small but its there and we all enjoy it to know that when your jumping with the beat there is a hundred people to jump with you and we are all the alternative.

Stumbles

Hey i saw you across the room. You looked amazing. Did you notice me? i was there. It seems like you were in a daze what was on your mind. I would hope was me. I spoke and no words came out i tried again and again. I didnt know what to say. Why would you even want to here from me again? im just finding it odd. IM in the battle of confusion. YOu really try to track me down then you find me do you reall y ahve anyhting really to say. Tell me something make a difference let me know your ok. I wish to change the world, what about you. I want to make it better. Can we make it better for us. Have you made things better for yourself. I tried i really did now i can only get better. Now that i am getting better.

in literature

i Just recently finished a book that many have read and i just got around to reading and that is tha catcher in the rye. It was very entertaining i didnt mind reading it at all but i realized in reading it and myslelf in the book of course i wouldnt do anything like run around new york almost get a hooker or ask a girl that i want to run away with then later drunk call her. But at th e time the girl i got the book from was a dear frined of mine first but we were so much more the thing is i needed to grow up some more. I really do the main character in the book talks about growing up and just talking about how old guys just talk about the miles per gallons of thier cars. I dont want to end up like that either i do not want to end up in a routine but it seems that is where alot of people are headed. I was heading that way i had become completely obssesed with fighting consumerism and the value of a name on some girls purse. I fell victim to the power of that i wanted a new car but i realized now that there is nothign wrong with my car so im in a fight with myself i did some things i was completely oblivious too i didnt know i wanted to fix it but i dont know how to now. I would do anything to get her back but the only thing i can do is grow up and learn. Man she was so different in all the best ways her smile her walk. then i realized like the character in the book that i overreact sometimes and act out irrationally and that what ends up hurting me the most and in that i lose things along with my composure its no fun without her around it really isnt. so in the end this book rather taught me alot and maybe it is time to do things the grown up way stop caring and get it right.

ten differences

it seems like every semester ends and i feel like i just trampled the exams and the long awaited break occurs when i heve nothing to do no people to watch and no one to really make fun of i my head when im laughing to myself in class. I recently traveled to the a coast town by the name of corpus christi and was i arrived i heard the song hello alone by anberlin playing on my radio it seemed too perfect. That song makes me want to travel and see these tiny coast towns where onlyt a few live but the cool thing is that corpus really isnt that small but it is odd everyone there seems too cool for my liking case in point was the concert i attended there. These scene kids are everywhere you express yourself by looking like everyone else im sure i have participated in my fair share of trends (then you could ask my frineds what they were im not sure yet) then i realized these kids dont get concerts like this all too often but that means they can still act like jackasses. The criticsm of the crowd cant be that upsetting. Any way i realized that on the coast where the land ends and the people collected either by choice or default they have exchanged an odd form of culture. Since its kinda far from any main pipeline ina major city where the trends tend to hit first they are just discovering alot of things. Im glad i got a vehicle when i turned eighteen because they doors and possibilities to travel expanded and now if im not doign homework im out and about trying to see all i can and my dream is to drive to canada to see some family and have as much fun as i can ride and stay wherever i want. the dreams we have i wich there was just a way to get paid for that im sure there iss but it probably involves writing something or getting filmed ii just want to drive and not care pay me to feel good in my travels. WOW i have talked about money alot well i guess its supposed to matter right thats why alot of uss get jobs i noticed that suddenly im not inschool to learn and get a higher paying job but im here for the experience that is school. and a realization at the end of a semester is one i get every time i hope many feel this way i will never know probably.

My consideration Taken

I have been having concerns of the oddest things lately very odd. Its still three days from the eighth of november a day that everyyear plauges my veins and for some reason i hope that it may not stop. I dont know what to do. The people with the concerns of the election, so many poeple were excited last night, Why? whats the reason "well thats our country and how its gonna be run for the next four years" did my vote matter most say yes it did so i guess it did. How many times can we produce change. Change for the better should have been the slogan. Now im sitting here waiting for change hopefully the human race has evolved past the racism factor. Still one cannot help be scared. We are all thinking it nobody is saying it. But i prey for safety and the obliteration of ignorance. It seems earning your wings is getting harder and harder. But lets try anyway right. I believe that it means something to know you have helped every way you could. When is the indifference settled. probably never there is six billion people in the world i dont think every single one will get along so they end up parted and divided and screaming thier differences from rooftops and call it pride at the same time calling out the follies of others and wear thiers on the sleeve of hate. Sometimes you someone not like you and they wlak toward you on the sidewalk and give you an ugly look liek thier world is perfect they are perfect. What does that even mean i am the shit to think that way already sets you up for failure those people dont take kindly to criticism like there was few guys in my math class one year they were so cool they could make fun of kids in class they were so cool and awesome they never turned in thier homework they were so cool they made it cool to fail algebra well if failing algebra and english and health and speech is cool then i know many a uncool person including myself. I believe that if you put in the time toi learn that already makes you badass. Being a badass means you handle everything like a strong person you do it to its fullest. My brothers always told me growing up."You have to be smart, then you do your homework dont half ass it play football and baseball run track do whatever you want do it to its fullest one day your gonna want alot of things make sure its worth the work to have. " Well then i have a lot of wants i wish them to not have them cause me pain but there are a few that stick out the ones that i feel i havent completely stack against me but it comes in lulls so all i have to do is make it through the eighth and then this lull will subside. I hope i can do everything i do i life to its fullest i have no cause to quit none at all. I dont think anyone does and i hope that everyone can handle that and do things to thier baest ability its absurd to think someone will be amazing at everything but hey we can try. TRY is all i ask maybe i can finally say i gave it my best and it was the best.

Getting out

THe world is huge i case anyone hasnt noticed. I wanna get out and see it all. I want access to a endless supply of money to do that. But i get out as much as i can and end up broke i cant help it getting away from your home or dwelling leaving and trying new things. I guess being in a band or a professional bike rider traveling around with money to blow. Someone hands you a hundred dollars everymorning and says spend it wisely thats your food money. Imagine doing that all over the world. Hey here is a hundred pounds now blow it wisely such an expression does not exist in the english language. The wierd thing is that some people will do anything for this american dream or five seconds of fame. Like all those people that go on reality shows and get all hyped and build thier reputation then think that good scents come out of thier butt all the time. But hey it is what you make of it. Will that fame get you anything besides on one of those newspapers that you see when your checking out at the grocery store. Like on the front you know you always read so so gained eighty pounds or who is this and its some large torso and it has the face covered. well i guess its what people need other people that they put on this pedistal fail so they can feel better about themselves. What is my concern for celebrities if i never get to meet them and how do these famous people meet people out of the famous spectrum i wanna know like if i was to become famous tomorrow and i went about my schedule would people notice an A-list star walking around. Like this one time i was at this bar in austin and i see this finger tap to the bartender, the bartender just slides down a tecate to the finger i turned thinking that is the first tecate i have seen all night as i turn i see the drink in that hands of the magnificent Matthew McConnahey how (how the gell do you spell that name) any way i couldnt stop staring but then was like "alriiiggghhhtttt" turned and went about my night with my Dr Pepper i was designated driver that night well i dont drink anyway i need all the brain cells i can get. Well i find out how to get out soon i hope i really wanna get up to canada soon. Seems like there is good things going on up there right about now.

Dim light findings

Well it seems like sometimes we find an easy way to do things. Such as simple math we take it for granted. My math professor keeps talking about the early mathematicians Such as archimedes and Euler. Most poeple know archimedes but this dude euler apparently went blind during working on math. HE would work for days at a time days and days and days he would rest by falling asleep right next top his desk. Wake up and keep working finding the most abstract of ideas with numbers. Now that im a little wiser i have learned that math really does have truth to its values. LIke these statements of x equals this or that are true and with the given y values you can make a graph which is cool like this one time i worked for hours just to graph an elephant on a TI 83 calculator it was freakin awesome. So now math is slowly losing the "why" (pun intended) and becoming something more concrete and easier to understand i wish i had just known all this stuff in high school then maybe i would have known what to do when finding that the curve of a parabola looks better when you follow the exponetiation rather than just connecting the dots. THere was this one russian lady namede alexandrof thats how my teacher spelled it anyway she came up with all this thoery and mathematical equations so much that the russian government thought she was crazy and she spent about half her life in the insane asylum and there she still got to work on math producing so many ideas and making them true staements of numbers. She passeed away there sometime afterward her lifes work was kept by the asylum realeased and all those who committed her could do was say sorry but her lifes work and findings dwell in textbooks around the world. Now it seems hard to try and find something even remotely close to new but the world seems to lazy or that may just be america or just the people im surrounded by i really hope its just the people im surrounded by. Well how about those guys trying to recreate the big bang thoery, my mom is convinced the world is gonna collapse in itself. LIke Stephen Hawking would let that happen. When we do discover something new and it becomes the latest craze well just be gald to say the human race still has it in them to do something amazing.